I've never been very good at beginnings. No matter the setting or circumstance, I've always felt just a bit...well, awkward. When I'm introduced to new people, I know what I'm supposed to say, I know how this transaction is supposed to go, but even sometimes I get caught up on hangups, like: To hug or not to hug? Which members of the family do you do that too? Which friends do you do that with? Work associates? And then even when you instinctively hug a person in greeting that you hold in high esteem, say there is a new acquaintance standing just there, do you hug them too?
Some members of my family (namely Aunts) will still kiss my cheek when they hug me, do you kiss them back or just let their lips touch your cheek? And then your uncle could be right there too, do you kiss his cheek or just give him a hug? What if it's an uncle/aunt/cousin/someone-somehow-related standing by but you're not that fond of them. Do you just continue down the line in greeting? Even though hugging them is rather repugnant?
Here's something I do know. You're supposed to shake hands when you meet someone entirely new to your in your social sphere, but do you have a firm grip or medium grip, because I understand that having a lax grip makes a handshake completely pointless. As pointless as a hug that's half-hearted or a kiss that really just met the air instead of a cheek. I'm twenty-six years old, most people I meet around my age or even younger than me, depending on the setting, do not shake hands at introductions. Even work associates are hesitant to shake my hand, and then it's a feeble fumbling at best that sometimes I wonder why I even did that.
Sometimes there's hugs amongst friend, but if it's a party, I can't just hug one friend and not the others, I don't want anyone to be slighted. Which just wraps back around to the problem of the one or two strangers milling about the crowd of friends you may or maynot have just hugged, and it's that do-I or don't-I dance all over again with strangers trying to glean your personality from a first impression while they stand in limbo while you make a decision on how friendly you need to be, or what's appropriate.
Then there's those words, "Hello", "Hi", "Nice to meet you." Or to family you do that, "How've you been?" "What's new?" "How have you been doing? Anything new going on?" And several variations of that, especially when the reply goes, "Not much, how about you?" And then you reply in kind, because I was always instructed that that what the proper way of it. After that, there's silence which upon you try to come up with some other type of banter.
I seriously hate small talk, yet I do it, usually fairly well, every single day. That should mean I could handle this silence, but no, I don't because when it's silence and there's just someone listening...which then, makes me say all sorts of things that I would never consciously talk because I just need to fill the void and even as the words spew out my brain is yelling at me to stop because this is the time when the "I" statements roll out. Like, "I just recently started this pattern....oh yes, by the way, I knit. I'm sure I sound ridiculous, knitting being my favorite pastime, it's always thought to be an elderly woman's occupation--but I'm really great at it! I took some pictures, would you like to see them?"
I've lost their attention, they seem bored to death, or they are actually curious to see all the pictures of my many many many many projects. So if you find yourself in that category and you're curious about my pictures, then I would very much consider you a friend.
I'm sending you a hug, kiss, handshake, and even a smile.
It's nice to meet you. Hope you've been doing great!
How am I?
That's why I decided to sit here and introduce myself (in a manner of speaking). You'll soon find out.
No comments:
Post a Comment